MONDAY BULLETS ON THURSDAY

Copied from May 14, 2024

To do:

• Play with Stormy (always)
• Meal plan - UGH
• Stop procrastinating packing for moving
• Visit my dad at the nursing home

Contemplating:

• How proud I am of Raine getting straight A's this term!
• Forever the Palestinians
• Ways to start writing again
• Holiday memories with my mother and Dan

Eating/Craving:

• Overnight soaked oats with chia seeds & yummy toppings
• Culver's
• Honeycombs
• BLATs
• Christmas cookies

Listening to:

• Chappell Roan, duh
• Christmas music -  Over the Rhine, Phoebe, Sufjan
• Classic rock radio
• NPR

Wearing:

• Those old school black leather el Naturalista boots - yay winter!
• My Slash t-shirt/Dan's cardigan/Sweatpants
• Constantly striped Smartwool socks
• Shearling winter birks

Addictions:

• Coffee and beer - the usual -
• Altoid winter mints (desk, car, purse stocked)
• My blanky, forever

Missing:

• Dan. Dan. Dan.
• My mother.
• All of my friends across the country

Making:

• Decisions... Travel, work, houses
• Meals. I am so bad at cooking.
• Pinterest boards - paint colors, tattoos, hair cuts...

Wish list:

• Tickets for trips with Raine
• Easy recipes
• The desire to shower!
• Garbage/recycling cans for the new house

OREGON COAST 2024

 

We've arrived! It's our special trip with Allyson and Eva! August 2024 <3

 

Fun in Cannon Beach and Rockaway Beach

Beach horseback riding!

Love these two.

Finding a feather means you are on the right path.

IF I VENTURED IN THE SLIPSTREAM

 

Could you find me?
Would you kiss-a my eyes?
To lay me down
In silence easy
To be born again

 

There you go, there you go
Standin' in the sun darlin'
With your arms behind you
And your eyes before
There you go
Takin' good care of your boy

 

And here I am
Standing in your sad arrest
Trying to do my very best
Lookin' straight at you
Comin' through, darlin'

I got a home on high
In another land
So far away
So far away
Way up in the heaven
In another time
In another place

||||||

8.11.24 

Spreading Ashes

~A Favorite Fishing Spot~

Nestucca River, Oregon

Thank you - Kevin, Art, Jay, Hattie, Doug,

Steve & Michelle, Char,  Rita, and Raine

Lyrics by Van Morrison - "Astral Weeks"

THREE MONTHS

 \\

HOW ARE YOU? \\ ?

    I feel very strong and positive. 

        I know that I will live in Dan's love forever.

I see myself and think. I am ::

\\ capable.

Tender.

    (loved) \ Resilient.

I also feel sick with grief. 

It is so   B  I   G  and achey

inside my chest.

I often whisper over and over, "Dan!"

 \\

HOW ARE YOU INSPIRED TO KEEP GOING

WHEN IT IS HARD? \\ ?

        

Honestly, there is so much sorrow in the world and I feel mine is a tiny speck within it all. 

I am not alone.

I'm inspired to help others - those who are suffering, 

who need hope.

And, Raine.

HOW IS RAINE DOING? \\ ?

\\ He is his father's son.

Their shared : qualities are showing when he comforts me--

    \\ kind, thoughtful, caring, quick wit, optimism. 

And after writing about Raine on this blog for the past 12 years,

I now know there is only so much I can share.

He is a young man now.

His own individual.

***

He desperately misses his father.

He takes it a day at a time.

***

\\\ I always knew losing his father would change him.

It has only made his heart bigger. //

 

TUCSON JUNE 2024

 

We went to the desert and it rained...

Thank you Randy, Taylor, Jack, and James for hosting us in our time of grief

and being there for us. We made special memories!

Best buds!

I lit candles for Dan and my mom at the historical San Xavier del Bac Mission.

Me and T.

Wine tasting at Charron Vineyards!

All of the readings....All of the magic.

Plenty of pool time.

And play time.

CELEBRATION OF LIFE - LEMONT

 

Celebration of Life

Pollyanna Brewing Company

Lemont, IL

Bar Crawl to Follow...

Thank you to everyone who came and made this such a fun celebration!---Just like Dan would have wanted, although we didn't get to do karaoke....Maybe next year? Thank you Uncle Al for the special Dan buttons and magnets, Kristi for being my date, and everyone who made it to the last bar where Dan's favorite pickle back shots were waiting. :)